humility

God works in mysterious ways…even through reality TV.

Some of you may know this already, but I recently had an accident with a knife and sliced through my hand and through a nerve.  I am waiting for a full assessment after the weekend, possibly followed by surgery to save the nerve affecting my index finger.

When the doctors told me this news, I was devastated.  They cannot guarantee full recovery of my nerve, but they said that they will try to do what they can.  The thought of not having a fully sensing hand freaks me out and to be frank, it really, really scares me.

I’ve been pretty down lately, struggling to do simple tasks like zipping up my coat or tying my hair back (which I still can’t do).  The injury hurts like crazy & taking a proper shower is next to impossible.  Looking at my bandaged hand keeps giving me flashes of the accident & the fear I felt then, making falling asleep a scary task.  Poor old me.

Then today, as I was watching the audition rounds of So You Think You Can Dance, a dancer who lost her left hand to a rare type of skin cancer auditioned.  Her name is Jessica Jensen & she explains that she had the choice of keeping her hand & dying, or amputating it & living.  She chose to live & calls the amputation her “new lease on life” and explains that she is perfectly happy being the one handed lady.

After watching her dance, I realized that I am one incredibly blessed person.  Not only is my injury non-life threatening, I still have full use of my dominant hand (which I’m typing with right now!)  My doctors seem very competent & caring, & even though I am away from home, I am not paying medical bills.  I have amazing people around me to support & be my help through the healing process, & my professors have been quite understanding to my situation.

I’ve realized how self-important I have become, and watching Jessica has greatly humbled me.  Although the physical situation of my injury sucks bigtime, I am learning to appreciate why God made our bodies in such a way that each part works perfectly with the other.  I am also learning that God is suffering alongside me & wants me to change my heart to be grateful & to lean on Him for my strength & help.  After all, all things are possible with His strength.

Learning to fully trust God has been my biggest challenge not only this year, but especially through my transition from Toronto to Montreal, as well as my transition from comfortably nesting @ home to full independence (financially, physically).  I am still learning, but I am getting closer.

So I hope you have been humbled & inspired by Jessica’s story as I have been.

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spiritual equations

This video succinctly sums up my ideas on faith pretty well.  It also explains why I don’t think the question “What’s your religion?” is properly worded – instead, we should be asking, “What is your faith?”  Religion (any, not just Christianity [but not Buddhism, since it’s not a religion]) often factors out fundamental spiritual elements, replacing them by the “insights” of man.

My faith lies in Christ.  What is your faith?

PS. I realize that my category is named “religion” – I struggled over that, but I named it that just for pedantic purposes.

faith and being christian

I just posted this response on my friend’s blog. I just wanted to share this part of my life as well. Fashion and film aren’t my only passions!

ps. My friend is an atheist and is very eloquent.
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as a christian (and not just by title), i can only say things what you have tried to understand and have deemed as unfounded claims, so i don’t expect a pretty response.

i agree with you about allowing for our children to explore possibilities in every aspect of life. i also think that once we die, our bodies are nothing and we do simply become fertilizer or fish food. and i’m sure that’s why many people embraced religion back in the day when situations were dire and people were dying of scurvy and chicken pox…and i call that blind faith for sure.

i can only imagine that you understand faith as something led by blindness and loose logic because you have established yourself as an atheist. but (speaking in religious jargon here) if the holy spirit really moves you, it’s not something you can deny. sure you can call it a “high” or emotions and guilt and etc., but faith is not led by whether god is visible as a being, or whether our water turns to wine when we demand it, but whether we can accept that god loved us enough to crucify his son. i know i know, you’ve heard this tons of times, but this is what i believe.

as for parents trying to expose their children to a certain faith…as i grow older, i see my future as a mother become more and more of a certain reality. it’s daunting to think about how i’m going to raise them to be the best they can be. i want to give every advantage to them, what parent doesn’t? i guess i’m trying to explain it as giving the best to my kids. if i really really believed in god’s word, then why would i not want to share what peace and certainty of salvation i have with my own flesh and blood? you know?

you can throw what you like at me. like about why we’re “homophobics” and haters of other faiths. if you knew me, you would know that that’s not who i am. and i’m not twisting the bible to fit what i would like to believe more comfortably, but i truly know that god’s love is unconditional. so why should i reject people and their lifestyle/choices? it’s not like i’m better than them or more righteous. no, that is not true. i wholeheartedly disagree with gaybashing and anti-semitism and racism and all of that. if i ever look(ed) down on someone, it’s not because of my faith, it’s because i’m a human who has a selfish ego.

i admire that you can have such solid opinions based on science and concrete evidence and proclaim them proudly. if you ever questioned why religious people may not always present themselves first and foremost as one (except for bible thumpers and such), just look around you. who does the world favour?

anyway, i think that’s long enough…